


is it okay that i like you?

by hyeyel



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Friends to Lovers, M/M, idk how to tag, seungyoun is dumb but he loves wooseok ok
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:20:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23481589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyeyel/pseuds/hyeyel
Summary: Straight guy worries he's being homophobic to gay roommate, realizes he's fallen in love with him.Plot twist: it turns out Seungyoun doesn’t have any problem with Wooseok kissing guys if it’s him he’s kissing
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Kim Wooseok | Wooshin, Han Seungwoo/Kim Yohan
Comments: 25
Kudos: 148





	is it okay that i like you?

Seungyoun doesn’t know where all this is coming from.

Him and Wooseok have been roommates for almost 3 years now. Wooseok having responded to his —rather brilliant, he thinks, unlike his friends’ protests— post on craigslist looking for a new roommate 3 years ago and feeling like he’s hit the jackpot when they agreed to meet each other at one of the cafes near their university because of how neat and tidy Wooseok seemed to be. And well, mainly because someone who isn’t a serial killer had actually taken his post seriously. 

Wooseok had come out to Seungyoun before they could sign the joint lease of their contract that he was, in fact, gay. And Seungyoun had no problem about it at all. Seungwoo, one of his best friends, is in a loving relationship with his boyfriend for 2 years now and he hangs out with them a lot so really, there was nothing to discuss about him being uncomfortable or anything like that. He’s been brought up to be pretty open about those things, you love who you love, right? Besides, he likes to think of himself as the token straight friend of their versatile social pack. 

They’ve also gotten closer throughout the years that they’ve been living together. Wooseok, like himself, is a senior in the arts department of the same university studying creative writing whereas Seungyoun is studying music production. Sometimes they would invite each other to the frat parties they’ve been individually invited to, sometimes they’d drink out with their other friends, and often they’d get coffee together when they both have classes in the mornings. Their relationship have been something akin to finding a missing piece of a puzzle, which sounds kind of dumb now that Seungyoun thinks about it but if he’s being honest, he couldn’t have chosen a better person to live with other than Wooseok. It took them a relatively short amount of time to start relying on each other about certain things, small things. Like Seungyoun does the dishes because they keep the cupboards at the top shelf so it’s only right that Wooseok doesn’t struggle to take and put them back there when he has to be on his tiptoes to reach it. Wooseok cooks dinner for them when he can and when they both have time in which Seungyoun thanks every deity for his existence like the first time he tasted Wooseok’s bibimbap.

There is a line they’ve cross though, that Seungyoun won’t admit that he thinks about at night sometimes when he has trouble falling asleep; the way they both find themselves in close proximity to each other’s bodies, during their movie nights and they end up cuddling on the couch, or when Wooseok’s had a nightmare and he’d know it’d be okay to go to Seungyoun’s room for company since the music production student barely sleeps at night to get work done, often leading to Wooseok taking space in Seungyoun’s bed and calling for him to go to sleep too, in which, among many of Wooseok’s other requests Seungyoun finds a challenge saying no to.

Another line they’ve long since crossed is how they communicate with each other, usually through playful bickering and soft words of encouragement when one of them is particularly stressed. They’re friendly enough to the point that Wooseok could joke about his sexuality with Seungyoun knowing that he’s straight, like making flirtatious remarks here and there and Seungyoun would even flirt back, it was all very comfortable and natural for the both of them. Wooseok would call him, sugar, honey, and other more diabetes-inducing pet names while Seungyoun would retaliate by calling him  _ baby. _ He always thinks he’d get Wooseok at least flustered someday but it always seems to be the other way around. Seungyoun never felt as though he was threatened by it though, unlike some straight men that Wooseok would talk to him about, which makes Seungyoun really sad and mad because Wooseok doesn’t deserve anything like that.

The reason for Seungyoun’s theatrical dilemma though, as he lightly slams his head on the table of their booth at their local diner where Seungwoo and his boyfriend, Yohan, watches him unamused is that….. Well, Seungyoun is _ scared. _

Finally, Seungwoo exhales and puts a hand on the table to soften the hits on Seungyoun’s forehead. Yohan tsks at his boyfriend, seeming to have been enjoying their friend’s misfortune. 

“What do you mean you think you’re homophobic?” Seungwoo says looking a bit uninterested which feels a little bit offensive to Seungyoun, not gonna lie, but  _ God _ . Hearing it come out of someone else’s mouth is even worse than thinking it to himself and he groans yet again.

Yohan laughs from beside his boyfriend and puts his chin on his shoulder, “that’s so stupid, hyung, you’re not homophobic. Trust us, we’d know if you are?”

Seungyoun straightens up and stares at his friends. He thinks back to meeting Seungwoo when they were kids and him coming out to Seungyoun back when they were in high school, he didn’t care because that doesn’t change anything in their friendship aside from Seungwoo liking men and women, that had nothing to do with Seungyoun at all so why should it matter to him? That was how he thought of it back then, at least. And then Seungwoo began dating until he met Yohan and introduced them to each other, nothing’s changed. Seungyoun never thought about them in a negative way whatsoever, like, yeah, it was a little annoying to see them all lovey dovey sometimes but Seungyoun knows that’s just because he’s single and  _ bitter. _ But how else can he explain why he’s being like this?

“Think about it, Youn,” Seungwoo leans towards him on the table which Yohan mimics, now it was both their turns to give Seungyoun a studying gaze. “How did you feel when Wooseok told you he was gay?”

Seungyoun racks his brain for the memory, that felt like ages ago. Can’t really remember anything aside from how he found Wooseok really cute and tiny wearing that oversized purple sweater of his. “I-I don’t know? I guess it was cool, I didn’t really care.”

Seungwoo nods as he hums and leans back on the couch him and Yohan were sitting on. Yohan nods as well and he and Seungwoo shares a look before turning back to Seungyoun.

“Does Wooseok hyung do anything that particularly, say, grosses you out?”

“He has this habit of ordering chicken feet at like 12 am and asks me to eat with him when he knows I’ve already brushed my teeth.”

Seungwoo rolls his eyes. “No, we mean if he does anything that makes you uncomfortable? Makes your skin crawl?”

And Seungyoun’s mind goes back to last night. He wasn’t an insomniac in the slightest but he does sleep at the latest hours of the night because of the music he works on, being a perfectionist and all, refusing to sleep before everything is how he wants them to be. Wooseok had gone home with someone, as he usually does, but recently its happened more often than not and had began to bother Seungyoun in a way. He didn’t care about it at first, Seungyoun was happy for his homie. Getting some and all that. And Wooseok was never an inconsiderate roommate, always texting Seungyoun in advance if he’s taking someone home so he can sexile himself if he needs to or calling Seungyoun to tell him he’s not going home because he’s sleeping over at a friend’s place. And Seungyoun isn’t dumb, he knew what that entailed. Wooseok also never lets his hookups stay for the morning or have breakfast with them, always just handing them their coats or jackets, escorting them out with a slam of the door and smiling at Seungyoun asking what he wants for breakfast and then they’ll eat together as if nothing happened. 

Last night though, Seungyoun and Wooseok had planned on staying in and ordering chicken feet in celebration of Wooseok getting the highest grade in his department’s latest writing project, but Wooseok had texted Seungyoun to say that his department had planned to go drinking outside instead. He was only a little bit disappointed on being flaked on, not like he was really looking forward to finally getting to spend time with his roommate because he’s missed him during that time he was too busy working on said project to pay Seungyoun any attention. Nope, Seungyoun was not sulking at all.

Seungyoun had gone about his usual Friday nights when he’s alone; had his bubble bath, cleaned around their apartment for a bit, and then it was time to work on his music. He was about two hours in working on something when he took a quick break to fetch water from the kitchen. That’s when he heard the doorknob rattling and decided to open the door for his probably drunk roommate — Wooseok’s always been the lightweight between the both of them. Seungyoun reaches for the door but stops when he hears a giggling Wooseok at the other side of the door along with another man’s voice saying some pretty nsfw things. Seungyoun almost gags, a little annoyed at the exchange deciding to leave them to it and turns to run towards his room just in time before the couple could get inside their apartment. Avoiding any social interaction with Wooseok’s hookups is number 1 on Seungyoun’s Priority List. 

Before getting to close the door to his room though, Seungyoun sees Wooseok being pushed towards the wall in their doorway, one of the guy’s hands in a tight grip on his hair and the other holding Wooseok’s hands behind his back. Seungyoun gulps, he knew it was wrong for him to stare,  _ God, he’s so wrong for this,  _ but there’s something about Wooseok with a cheek pressed unto the wall, face flushed red and eyes half-lidded that made it hard for Seungyoun to look away. 

The guy began to trail his (disgusting) mouth from behind Wooseok’s ears to his nape down to his shoulder, and something about it makes an unfamiliar sort of pain flare up inside Seungyoun’s chest, he hopes none of those leave any marks. 

He looks back up to Wooseok’s face to see those half-lidded eyes staring right at him and yet he still couldn’t look away. That’s when a moan slips from Wooseok’s lips, eyes rolling to the back of his head and sending Seungyoun into a panic making him slam his door shut.  _ What the hell? _

He puts his headphones on and tries to work on one of his recent projects, trying to avoid his growing… problem down south, but to no avail. He still hears the pants and moans through their paper thin walls and no matter how hard Seungyoun tries to focus, he just can’t shake the image of Wooseok’s face flushed with pleasure out of his mind. So he decides to take a shower despite having already taken a bath, making sure the temperature was at its lowest. Cold as ice, if possible. 

Seungwoo and Yohan stares at him incredulously like they couldn’t believe what they just heard. Yohan bursting into laughter is what breaks the silence and, really, why is he here again? He’s no help. 

“Babe, tell me he’s joking,” Yohan asks Seungwoo as he laughs into his boyfriend’s shoulder like this is the funniest thing he’s heard in a while. Seungwoo looks at Seungyoun again and he stares at him like he’s asking for help, what Seungyoun’s asking help for, he doesn’t know. Seungwoo shakes his head at Seungyoun and wraps an arm around Yohan’s waist, “He’s clueless,” he tells his boyfriend loud enough for Seungyoun to hear.

Seungyoun crosses his arms over his chest and huffs, kicking at their feet under the table, “you guys are no help! What am I supposed to do? Why do I feel like this, I don’t wanna be homophobic, what the fuck!”

Yohan looks at his boyfriend again, face dead serious, “I’m gonna tell him.”

“Don’t you dare —” 

“you ever, I don’t know, hyung, think about how maybe that’s jealousy you’re feeling? ” Yohan directs his inquiry to Seungyoun.

How Seungwoo’s been with him for two years now, none of them knows.

Seungyoun looks at the both of them, confused. “Jealousy?” He laughs nervously, “what am I jealous of? I get laid too? Occasionally.”

Yohan tsks, looking back at Seunwoo and gesturing towards Seungyoun like they know something that he doesn’t. 

“Youn, think of it this way,” Seungwoo clasps his hands in front of him and looks at Seungyoun as seriously as he can muster. “Everything was fine until recently when Wooseok’s been bringing home guys more than usual. What does that tell you?”

Seungyoun’s face contorts in confusion as he tries to think of an answer, “I’m……. Way behind the game and need to start getting laid too?”

At that, Yohan facepalms and drops his head onto the table, “hyung, I can’t do this,” whereas Seungwoo just sighs at the both of them.

“Okay, okay, so you need to get laid, right? Does anyone specific come up your mind when you think about sex, then?”

Wooseok’s mouth agape with cheeks flushed red instantly flashes in Seungyoun's mind and he gulps. Oh.

"So?" Yohan eggs him to answer and he just stares at the two lovebirds and springs up from their booth, gathering his things and excusing himself from their conversation.

"I, uh, forgot I have a thing for, a, uh, thing, yup! I'll text you guys! Bye!" 

Seungyoun runs out of the diner rather clumsily, Seungwoo and Yohan watches his back disappear before bursting into laughter. 

“Tell me we weren’t that hopeless,” Yohan giggles into Seungwoo’s arm in which his boyfriend just pats his head and smiles at him knowingly.

Seungyoun comes home late, having tried to spend as much time in the studio as possible, not at all because he was hoping to avoid a certain pretty boy living in his apartment. He stumbles in the doorway trying to remove his shoes when the lights from the kitchen suddenly came on. There he sees Wooseok standing in just his yellow pajamas—the one with white polka dots, but instead of having long pajama bottoms this one had shorts to match the top—thighs and legs on full display. Seungyoun’s throat feels really dry. “Uh, hi.” 

The shorter male eyes him carefully, taking a sip of the glass of water in his hand before nodding at Seungyoun in acknowledgement. The situation felt a little deja vu-ish. Except Seungyoun didn’t have a 6-foot-something leech sucking on his neck.

“Where’ve you been?”

Seungyoun places his keys on the tiny fruit bowl they have on their also tiny kitchen bar and makes his way towards his room, stopping in front of his door to speak to Wooseok.

“In the studio working on, you know, things,” he cringes inwardly to himself, he hates how awkward and tense the atmosphere in the apartment’s gotten.

Wooseok hums, eyes still on Seungyoun’s frame. He sighs, “Look, Youn, about last night—”

Seungyoun stops him before he can continue, feigning nonchalance, “It’s no problem, Wooseok-ah,” he tries to smile at Wooseok but he just lets out another sigh. Before his roommate could say anything else, though, Seungyoun enters his room and shuts the door locked behind him.

The moment the door to his room closes, Seungyoun began pacing back and forth in the little space his room would allow him. He grabs at his own hair and lets out a silent groan, his brain feels like exploding. Does this mean that he likes Wooseok? He doesn’t like to entertain the idea of only wanting sex from Wooseok, though, like, yeah okay, if Wooseok would let him he’d like to know what it would feel like to  _ touch _ and  _ be touched _ by him but he’s thought about it more often than not and he also likes the idea of maybe getting to take Wooseok out on dates, and making him blush, and holding his hand. So even the mere idea of just being solely sexual with his roommate just doesn’t sit well with him at all. So they can’t just… fuck it out and get it over with. (If Wooseok even finds him attractive like that.) But does this mean that he’s gay? Because he's dated girls before—a  _ lot _ of them. And he's pretty sure he was at one point attracted to all of them too. Like, he knows bisexuality and pansexuality exists, amongst other labels in the spectrum, but is he even sure he's attracted to other guys? What if he's only attracted to Wooseok? Oh my god. 

_ I'm attracted to Wooseok.  _ Is being wooseoksexual a thing?

He collapses on his bed and tries not to think. He’ll figure it out tomorrow.

Seungyoun did in fact figure it out the day after. 

But that was days ago. It’s been exactly a week since The Doorway Incident—as he’d come to call it in his mind—and he’s spent his week adamant on avoiding his roommate at all costs. Yeah, he’s come to terms with having  _ romantic _ feelings for one of his best friends, but that doesn’t mean Seungyoun’s ready to face him just yet. It was shocking enough to realize that he somewhat liked boys too and an even bigger realization that it was Wooseok that he liked. That Wooseok was his gay awakening. 

First thing he did was, of course, call his mom.

In hindsight, it was probably not the best idea to call your mother at 2 in the morning, crying— although completely sober—just because you’re having a sexuality crisis at the age of 23 but his mom answers after the first two rings anyway.

_ Mom, I have something to tell you. I know you won’t be mad because you love me but I want to hear you say it first. _ He sniffs out immediately after the line connected.

**_Seungyoun-ah? Honey, is everything okay? Why are you crying?_ **

His mom sounded worried, of course she is. Seungyoun realizes he’s also missed hearing her voice.

Seungyoun sniffles a giggle.  _ Everything’s fine, mom. So? You love me, right? No matter what? _

**_Of course I love you no matter what, you big baby._ ** His mom laughs on the other line, voice still laced with concern. **_Seungyoun, tell mom what’s wrong._ **

_ Mom,  _ God, he  _ is _ a big baby. __

_ I-I think I like a boy? I love a boy. Mom, I think I love Wooseok, is that- that’s okay, right?  _ He knows he’s rambling now which he also knows is stupid because his mom will never judge him for anything, especially not about something like this, but he’s scared and needs the assurance.  _ It’s okay that I love him? _

The night air grew silent as he calms down a little, his mom not having said anything yet except for her comforting humming. Seungyoun looks at the way the lamp from his desk lights up that tiny portion of his room, the constant buzz of his air conditioner and his occasional sniffling and hiccuping the only noise he could hear. 

Finally, the silence is broken by a sound from the other line. His mom’s probably gotten off the bed or something. After the shuffling stops, he hears her let out a breath,  _ Wooseok’s your roommate, right? Tell me more about him. _

Seungyoun clears his throat at the request but stays silent, his heart picking up its pace yet again in nervousness but before he can even overthink further, his mom beats him to it.

_ I need to know if this person is worthy of my son’s heart, Seungyoun-ah. Tell mom more about this boy you love and then I’ll tell you all about how nothing about what you’re feeling is in any way wrong. _

And so Seungyoun did. Rather enthusiastically that it was a little embarrassing, he thinks. Both him and his mother seeming to have forgotten that he called at ass o’clock in the morning, laughing and accepting and  _ loving.  _ The call ends with Seungyoun’s mom making him promise to visit home when he can and to even bring Wooseok with him if things go smoothly between the both of them, in which Seungyoun just tells her that he’ll try and thanks her before hanging up, for everything.

He’s decided on the fifth day of avoiding Wooseok that he’s going to tell him he likes him. Like, not right then and there or tomorrow or…. Soon, but someday. Maybe when Seungyoun doesn’t feel like bolting out of the room when he sees the other coming or maybe once he stops freezing up just by hearing his voice. 

**Author's Note:**

> i have chapter 2 done but idk if ppl will even read this one soooo /:(:):):$&::$;&,


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